It has been a really crazy season.
I've wanted to blog more but honestly I haven't wanted to share the happenings of my heart. Processes can be painful. Transformation isn't always easy. But it is always worth it. Character comes from fire. And how badly do I desire to be of Godly character. My heart rages to be tested and found worthy but the tests are hard. Because the Prize is great. I want to know Jesus. I want Him to know ME. I want to be His friend more and more every day.
It's hard when I sit down and I don't want to read the Bible. I don't like it when my heart isn't desiring to seek His face. I don't like it when I'm distracted by worldly things. I don't like being distracted from His captivating face.
He is so good to change me. He is so good to help me deny myself and seek Him. I want people to see Him and want Him when they see me.
So, I've wrote how my walk in faith has been a lot about finances. He has been really faithful even when I'm faithless. I've really doubted when I have no reason to doubt. But for over three months... my faith was truly tested. God didn't provide like I thought He would of for over 3 months. I got behind in my rent, my bills, wasn't able to eat often, and was really afraid. I was training for a marathon that I didn't have money to register for or even get to. What was I doing wrong? Was I not following man's wisdom in getting food stamps? or I don't even know. There was so much 'good advice' given to me. But so much I didn't feel God leading me to.
Was I foolish? I don't know. I know that Paul confesses he's a fool for Christ. 1 Corinthians 4:10. I know that I am good company for being thought foolish.
So I was three months behind in rent. My cell phone was turned off. My electric was about to be turned off. And the only miracles I had was for some food money because I was living off of popcorn and rice. This was about the end of October.
So many thoughts go through your head in situations like this. I have people telling me what I ought to do. I have doubts. I have condemnations. I have convictions. I have the Word of God. That He is faithful. That is promises are True. I have my own testimonies. I have Him saying, "I am faithful to the end." At this point I was coming to the end of my marathon training (which I knew was a prophetic act), and I'm wondering if I'm training in vain. But God.
But God.
But God.
But God is bigger than my doubts. God is bigger than my faithlessness. God is bigger than my mistakes. God is my Redeemer. He is my Salvation. He is my Strength. He is Everything. Gosh, I am so not perfect but He is. He is perfect. And His ways are perfect.
In one day God met all my needs. October 27th I'm pretty sure. I woke up to someone coming over to give me $300 for my electric. When I got home from that someone paid for my cell phone to get turned on. And then that afternoon, someone texted me and asked how much I needed. And put $2,000 into my bank account. In one day, God covered all my rent, all my bills, and my needs for my marathon. I'm not training in vain. The tests are for real. This training is for real. I may be Crazy but I am Sane in the Kingdom of God.
I walk by faith and not by sight. It doesn't mean I'm careless with finances or don't work hard. I've gotten a second job at a health food store and have worked 7 days in a row between the two jobs and have 7 more days to work in a row. Maybe even more.
There is so much I don't know. But God has made it so evidently clear I CANNOT lean on my own understanding. But I MUST acknowledge Him in everything so He can make my path straight.
I ran my marathon November 15th in Richmond, Va. And it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I wanted to quit so many times. I wanted to just go home. I wanted to stop. It was super painful. But God. He has trained me to finish well. He has trained me to endure. He has trained me to persevere. He is doing a great work in me and He will finish it. ii
Man, it's hard. Man, my heart has felt pain. And, oh boy, has Jesus come to heal me. Jesus has come to make every wrong thing right. Because wrong things happen. And sometimes it's totally my fault. But His grace is sufficient for me. His mercies are new every morning.
So, now I'm going to Israel in February on a trip with Global Celebration (the ministry I serve here in Harrisburg). Global Celebration does this trip to Israel every February and it has been on my mind for a couple years to go. Thursday, I found out a Bible translator, Brian Simmons, and his wife were attending this next trip... My heart exploded. I know this trip is going to be different. God ALWAYS does amazing amazing amazing things on this trip, but Brian and his wife carry something very special. I listen to Brian's sermons all the time and LOVE his translations of the Bible called The Passion Translation. So when I saw that they were going. My heart exploded. I asked the Lord for a sign of confirmation if I could go on this trip and within 30 minutes God confirmed it. The next day, Friday morning, less than 24 hours of my asking Jesus if I could go, someone called and said they would give $2,000 for my trip. Holy Confirmation.
I can't even begin to tell you. I've been just talking with Jesus, not so much asking, but talking about how I would like to go overseas. But for Jesus to bring me to ISRAEL! With Georgian and Winnie Banov (Global Celebration leaders) and Brian and Candice Simmons. I'm undone. To be so honest. I feel like this year has been so very hard and I've worked so very hard and been through so much pain that for The Lord to do this for me......... I'm just so thankful. I'm just so humbled. I'm so honored. To know that He honors me for honoring Him... I'm so thankful. How do I begin to show my utter reverence for God???? He is GOOD.
So, I humbly ask you to please help me get there. I have to get the rest of the finances for the trip by THURSDAY DECEMBER 11th!!!!!!! I need $1,800 to cover the rest of the trip. I know that this is The Lord. Will you please help me???
Jesus has 5 days to finish this! Will you please be a part of this???? God is so faithful to repay you for your kindness to me!
HERE IS A LINK!!! PUT MY NAME ESTHER SCHEELE UNDER THE PARTICIPANT SPOT
https://globalcelebration.wufoo.com/forms/israel-2015-invoice-40703940/
here is the link again.
https://globalcelebration.wufoo.com/forms/israel-2015-invoice-40703940/
This is a link ABOUT THE TRIP
http://www.globalcelebration.com/Holy-Land-Missions-Tour-2015
HERE IS THE LINK WHERE YOU CAN HELP ME GO
DONATE TO MY TRIP !!
AND ITS TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!!!!!!! i think. And I will write a prophetic word to anyone who donates to my trip!!!!!!!! Seriously.
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Jesus is so amazing. I love you all. Thanks for reading this. Thanks for praying for me. Let me know how I can pray for you! Call me. Text me. Email me. Facebook me. Let's be friends forever.
